#Peshawar

I woke up lazily
And dragged myself
Out of the bed
Only to be plunged
in Red

I got ready
And hurried
Round the corner
Without realizing
That my school
Would act
As a burner

I hugged my kid
When he left
And when
I met him later
It was his body
In pieces and tatter

I was getting late
To the class
And I wished
My teacher wouldn't
Notice

I never wished
I would be
On a slab of ice

I was munching
A chocolate
Savoring the taste
Although in haste
I never imagined
You would make
My body chaste

You, a soulless, cruel
Barbarian
Robbed the family
Of a gem

In the name of Religion
In the name of Freedom
You took away Children
Because they reminded you
Army, Discipline and Integrity

Satan would be ashamed
Of the act you committed
May you rot in the pits of hell
And doomed be forever your shell

Screwed up...

I looked at you
And said yes
To his proposal

I knew it wasn't right
But I even knew you
Weren't by my side

Everyone was happy
Except me

And then the life went back
It should have been laughter
Not sorrow
Should have been blissful
Not horror

I did the unthinkable
And let go of him
Only to find you
And the road's bend

I started erasing the past
And building a future
Dreams. hopes and choices
I thought I was the wisest

I never knew
History would repeat
And you would give up on me

I thought we were together
Because of you I had that stupid grin
I never thought it would dim

I never thought we would part ways
And never look each other's face

You left me with scars so deep
It's difficult to look beyond
And peep

I lay in my bed
Thinking about you
And cry at the times
Wasted for you

Now I do not cry
For the tears have dried
You have ripped my heart
And said Good Bye

A part of me wants to
Get back to routine
But I know I have changed
And no more the girl
Who embraced life
But someone who is
Screwed up
And doesn't wish to
Be alive.

The Girl!!!

She was a girl
Who wanted to run
In the Wild
Sometimes leaving her
Sanity and run like a child

She was a girl
Who loved flowers, surprises
And love notes dropped
Around the corners

She was a girl
Who had her world
Beyond boundaries
And hoped someday
Someone would fulfill
Her eccentricities

She was a girl
Half mad
Looking out for someone
Who was her match

Words and expressions
Were her favorite of all
Which resonated passion
Without the need
To touch at all

Cut to now...

She is the girl
Who walks the path
With caution and thought

She is a girl
For whom
Family dinners, kids and in laws
Have taken the priority

She is the girl
Who shut her world
So that she shouldn't be bothered

She is the girl
Who is now mature and sane
Her eccentricities locked away
And the key lost somewhere

But she is still the girl
For whom
Words and expressions
Are her favorite of all
Which resonates passion
Without the need
To touch at all

Love Unfulfilled

She looked at the sky that spread over her… a calmness seeped through her. Wishing he should have been here, with her. And then he hugged her from behind. Warmth rushed through her body and she leaned on him. Closing her eyes, she felt his breath on her neck and wished time stopped. Everything was calm around, not within. Within her, raged a war of emotions and feelings. She wanted to throw caution out of the window. She turned towards him, kissed him deeply, as if kissing him for the last time. It was indeed her last time. Then she walked away from him, to her home. Leaving a piece of her with him, walking towards the jigsaw puzzle, she was a piece of. 

Monsoon...

It wasn't Monsoon, yet there was water everywhere. Oh! Crazy, she had tears in her eyes. Age does that to you, right? She brought the paper, close to her eyes again, trying to read each word again. Did she miss the line, where he wrote, “I will come and take you, Mom, from the aged home.” She was hallucinating, sure she was. The bell rang; she stood and walked towards the dining hall, throwing the paper in the dust-bin. Clouds thundered outside, skies grew dark and it poured. Heavy and huge droplets fell, making intolerable noises. But she ate her salad, as the doctor advised. After all, she had only herself to take care of.

Tiny Tales # 1

Memories came flooding by,
I helplessly let them rush to me
All I did was drown in them,
And forget the rest of me
I knew it was for a few minutes,
But it felt I lived a lifetime in thee

An Affair to Remember...

You guess you are happy with a person

But there are scars that the other person

Doesn't see, doesn't acknowledge

Doesn't help you heal

And you let yourself go cold

Sometimes the ignorance hurts,

Sometimes its makes your eyes water

Sometimes you don’t care to react

And then comes another person

A friend, a lover

Or whatever

Sometimes it doesn't have a name

It just comes to you

The missing puzzle of you

You fix like jigsaw puzzle

You were supposed to be together

Or so you thought

But fate had different plans

So you carry on with your

Missing piece

Day after day

Month after month

Till you make so many memories

That even in solitude you can smile

This is exactly an affair to remember

It might be brief

It might be long

But only you know the

Lines of this song

And for me

That person is you.. 

Apology

I woke up and
Felt normal
No nausea, no giddiness

All around me was normal
But I knew, she wasn't
I couldn't feel her
I couldn't smile because of her
I ruthlessly listened to the
Society and blew you off

I apologize
That I did not
Let the flower bloom

I apologize 
That I couldn't
Fight back the 
Black clouds that
Hid the shining sun

I apologize 
That I let 
The wife win

I apologize 
That the mother in me 
Was weak to scream

I apologize 
That even though
You are my part
I am letting you go

I apologize 
For remembering you
But doing nothing
That's your due

I apologize my baby
For all that 
I put you through...

The Final Goodbye...

The most beautiful creations of God are - 
The flower that blooms,
The Sun that shines,
The Moon that soothes,
The caterpillar to a butterfly,
The birth of a soul like you
And all the memories made
Because of you

As a beautiful flower is born
And the legacy starts
You, my granny
Was the reason
For a beautiful family 
We share

As the sun casts upon
The Earth,
the warmth of it rays
We know you are there,
Showering blessings on us
Across the heavenly skies 

As the moon guides 
A lost soul on a dark night
You will guide us
Through smiles and turmoils
Through loss and pain
Always making sure
We don't loose anything
Only gain

As a bird that soars high
In the sky
We will succeed 
Because we have your
Blood and you trust us
To soar high

And as a flower withers away
Its fragrance is always felt
Around
You have left us a
Bonded family,
Beautiful memories
And warmth
That still spreads

Every passing day
Will remind us of you
And your smile
And the pricking 
Sense of your loss 
And an amazing soul 
Who is now 
With the Divine

The Last Breath

I got the call
And I felt
The sky did fall

My brother said
Granny’s no more
Felt like something was 
Snatched away ruthlessly
And mercilessly 

Aren't we supposed to say
A Final Goodbye?

Time heals the wounds
They say
But can time fill in vacuum
Created by someone’s absence?

I saw her
On the bed
Eyes closed
And her body 
Lay numb

I wanted to touch her
Kiss and hug her
But I couldn't
The body was my granny’s
But the soul left
There was no warmth
No love, 
Just a body
Wanted to shout and scream

My sister sat there
Beside me
Crying and wallowing 
I wanted to console her
But words ditched me
I was in pain and
How could I convince someone?
It’s all a part of the game?

The love she infused
And the relations she made
Will be with us 
Till our last breath

Our granny
Our strength
We will miss you
No matter where you are
You will always know
You will be with us
In our memories
And in our smiles

We have loved you
And will always love you

We love you.. More than words can say...

She personifies beauty
Not only skin deep
But also that which
Reaches her soul

She, with us is
Peaceful and serene
Like a shade of green
In a hot sunny gleam

She epitomizes strength
She is the reason for the
Broadest smile on
Our faces

She held us together
Making us one
She acted like a Mother
Or rather made us feel
Like her son and daughter

We have seen you
Smile, cry and worry
For your family
Hoping and wishing
We stay together as One

And today...
She laid there
On the bed
The place reeked of
Spirits and drugs

With wrinkled skin

And swollen feet

Skin marred with blues

Because of all

The syringes that were

Poked in you

And you lay there

On the sheet of 

Whites and blues

Crying for a

Peaceful transition

We saw you

And felt your pain

Hoping it ends soon 

And  you smile again

We know we are selfish

We want you to be with us

We want your smile 

To enlighten us

But the slightest 

Whimper from you

Leaves us cold

And wishing for 

Miracles

We love you granny

More than any words can say

And we want you to be at peace

Every night and day...

APART FROM ME.. A PART OF ME

The pain of loss

The pain of something gone

I want to wash away

But it seems to prolong

Sadness engulfs me

The pain deepens

I want to shout

But the whisper’s

Aren’t even loud

We did

What we had to do

But

Oh! My soul mate

My friend, philosopher and guide

Do we really have to?

I live with you

In my head

In my heart and

As a part of my identity

R.A.N.D.O.M

All the fun I imagined as a kid
As I grew, easily slipped

Now that I have completed 30
Hunger pangs return of wanting to be nifty

And I have lost touch of myself
All that I do, all that makes sense of me
Is for the two lovely parts of me

What did I do to miss the dreams
Simple were thee
On a starry nights eating Ice creams
Watching the sun rise and set
On a rainy day
Each strand of hair dripping from water
Long drives, holding hands
Not even once asking for expensive brands

As Life takes a turn
Like a potter who shapes an urn

I have to cut, control me
Allowing the dreams to flee

Letting go of all that I desire
Because I know of the 
Situations it will ire
Controlled on a neutral mode
I have to move on and get mature...

THERE ARE TIMES...

There are times
I miss you so much
I feel moisture in my eyes
And lumps in my throat

There are times
I miss you so much
No matter where I am
I smile and laugh
Remembering
All the giggles

There are times
I miss you so much
Your words echo
In my mind

There are times
I miss you so much
All I wish is
To hear your voice
Know that you are here
Carry on without fear

There are times
I miss you....

Lonely

You are so far away
Yet my thoughts are 
Surrounded by you

What we talked
How we laughed
What we shared
Is a part of me
That will always be 
Kept with care

I know why 
We are so far away!
We would have been
Together
If there would have been a way

All I want to tell you
Is - I get lonely
Sometimes too much
Sometimes just a little
No matter how much and when,
I just get lonely 
Without you my friend

F.A.S.C.I.N.A.T.I.O.N

I am less fascinated
By the way a human brain
Defies the code
I am more fascinated
By the way a flower blooms open
Midst the weather cold

I am less fascinated
By the way an email
Can keep a person in touch
I am more fascinated
By the way
A lover is loved

I am less fascinated
By the way the world
Moves on
I am more fascinated
By the way that
You move on
And your soul still hangs
On to the person
You loved

Haiku - Bubble

I live in my own bubble
Far from the maddening crowds
And all the shitty trouble

Haiku - Tears

I miss you so much, tears threaten to fall
But I hold them back, I don't want the memories
Awash, by their fall

S.U.N

The Sun you are

In my life

I shine because

No matter the distances

You always seem to throw

Your light on me

You are somewhere 

Within me

Illuminating me

Making me shine

And smile

Your presence

Is pronounced

Even in your

absence

Not a moment goes by 

when your thought does not fly

across my mind

brightening my soul

The Sun you are

In my life

And like the Sun

That gives life

You give me 

Strength rife

To the moon

That shines

In the quiet 

Of the night

To the plant

That blooms

Away from crowds

Lone but loved

To the Ice

That melts into

Its original state

To me

You are the Sun

The Smile

The Sigh

The Memories 

The Sun you are

In my life

It is Simple....

Yeah it is very simple
I miss you
Have missed you since
That day
When both of us 
Went our way

Yeah it is very simple
Life moves on
And nothing changed
Just the hollow in you 
Increases its range

Yeah it is very simple
Life does not stall
And it is not like
You are everything and all
But the soul does fall
From heights and 
You aren't with me
To shout and call

Yeah it is very simple
The world moves
On its axis
Day starts and ends

But the vacuum 
Your absence created
It will never be simple
Ingrained on my soul 
It will be with me

Complicating my simple life

Haiku - Induction

Haiku - Induction

Induction & Training, time flies till Noon
And then it stops like a flower
which is yet to bloom

Haiku - Happiness

Haiku - Happiness

Happiness for me 
Is like the sun rising
And the kids smiling

God's Identity

God asked - Why religion?
I said - How could I worship you without some kind of an identity?

So God said - Keep me within your heart and that will be my identity
I said - Sometimes I am bad, selfish, corrupt and mean, how can that be you identity?

To this he replied - My identity is defined by you, by no means I reside in enclosed four walls
I said - But I need to look at you to pray and ask for forgiveness

HE smiled - My forgiveness? Why do such things to ask for forgiveness?
I said - I am a human, after all

Then HE looked into my eyes and said - No, you are a part of me. You will always be divine. All you need to do is try and make the effort so that the divinity shines. I don't need any identity. You are my identity. You, my child is my reflection!!!!

Body & Soul

Body & Soul
Go hand in hand
Not mine

I use my body
to earn money
like everyone else
The only difference
I don't put my soul
in my work

My body is bruised
But my soul hopes
My body is all the time sad
But my soul sometimes feels glad
When, I don't remember

I give my body
to anyone who pays
And who wants to
get laid

There is no emotion involved
No mystery that is touched or solved

I close my eyes
and zone out
Not once thinking
if I am a fool or someone wise

Why did I tread his path
Was there nothing where I could I walk?

I was forced
and by force
My life changed its course

I wanted to be
happy & glad
And all I have is
Minutes of sorrow
and a soul which is sad...

My Childhood, My Memories

This is inspired from the photo which was shot in Syria. 

This is not how the world should be. For the article - Click Here

I am just ten
And like any other boy
Who is ten
I wish around me 
Love and some friends
Is it too much to ask?

I witnessed Violence
Terror and the families tear
When I was supposed to be
under immense love and care

I don't know what am I to conclude
When I see a woman of my mom's age
Cry like a baby and no one could console
Could she not be consoled with a cupcake
or an ice-cream?
Why does she scream
Looking at a body which lies lean
At her feet,
By her doorstep

I assumed as a kid
That when you cry
Your mother hugs you
And in an instant everything that bothers you
Hushes as if a bird flew

But the Country I live in
I seldom see smiles
There is only sadness for miles
There is death, grimness and loneliness
That is gifted to you
When you are born
Like the air you breathe
Like the sun that shines
And like the moon that waxes and wanes
The only feeling that waxes and wanes is sadness
And I don't know
How long will it be?
Before I Breathe and smell the fragrance of freedom
And cut the ties loose
of repressions, sadness and boredom

I Am Different...

I always wanted to be different
In what I do, how I live and how I dream
So today, I am different
Very different from the normal ones
And so different that it hurts to be different
I wish I could be normal
A normal person from the normal world
But no, I am different

This is my life, my destiny and my fate
You always get what you do not ask for
No one would have ever thought about this
But somehow I was cursed with this

You know your life changes
You feel an outcast
You feel your life is doomed
And all you can do is to cry in a closed room

I was not responsible for what I have
It was an act of ignorance
Or shall I say my destiny that led me this way

 I was crushed when I was welcomed under a truck
I wanted to have fun and party and experience my first fuck
But they say life is a bitch
And I was injected a needle which had an HIV itch

Now all I do is count my blessings
And feel my pulse
When all I want to do is
Say fuck you life and repulse

So this is my story
Shall I say, it ends here?
Nah, I think it will end with me
It will come with me to my grave
and rest peacefully beside me
I wanted to be different
And this is how different I am